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These tips are divided into sections that correspond to the Sourcebook. Please have your Sourcebook in front of you when reviewing these helpful hints and suggestions.
Opening Month
Group leaders who are going into the second year of a group should be sure to read page 11 of “Getting Started” in the Sourcebook. Also, on page 20 of “Opening Month” there is the outline for Opening Month in the Ruach Year.
Be sure to welcome new members to your group in many ways – incorporating them into the group and informing them about Rosh Hodesh is a critical task. By doing group games, ice breakers, and mixing up any defined friendships you will help all the girls feel more comfortable.
Talk with the group about their hopes and expectations for the year – include their ideas in the calendar. Ask them what leadership roles they can take on. Create a new opening or closing ritual. Make up a group slogan or code word. Group leaders are now empowering the girls to have more ownership of the group.
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Tishrey
Explore:
This may be a challenging topic to discuss for your group. Make everyone feel comfortable by accepting all responses and by listening without judgment. It is not necessary to respond to what the girls have to say – it is necessary to make the space a safe one for discussion of various views. On this topic some girls may feel that they are “supposed to” respond a certain way and be hesitant to reveal their true feelings.
Reflect:
In this guided meditation the girls have the opportunity to think about the topic privately. Not everyone has to share in order to process the experience. Allow those who want to share to do so.
Closing:
Try doing this outside for a change of scenery and shift in experience. See the Facilitator’s Tip – perhaps the girls could find the appropriate spot to “sprinkle their cracker crumbs”. If it is fall, you can use dried leaves instead of crackers.
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Heshvan
Create:
Here’s a website with specific instructions for making cool and interesting friendship pins using “seed beads” (really tiny beads found at craft stores): http://www.chatsco.com/safety_pins.htm#Sunflower
Group leaders in the past have not only encouraged the girls to take their pins home, but have also invited the girls to make additional pins to decorate their ritual cloths.
Bring It Home:
Group leaders could give each girl a blank journal (often easy to find at the dollar store) and give the girls a few minutes to write their first gratitude entry.
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Kislev
Explore:
Hanukkah/holiday time awareness: Remember to be non-judgmental about what choices families make at this time of year; the girls need to feel that it is safe to talk about their various ways of celebrating. Please keep in mind that there may be girls in the group who have a parent or grandparent who is not Jewish; therefore she and her family may celebrate Christmas in their homes. Even many families where both parents are Jewish will sometimes have a Christmas tree in their homes. Visit the http://interfaithfamily.com resource section “December holidays” for articles on the subject.
That being said, some girls from more religious families may not get or give presents on Hanukkah at all, in order to go against the American culture of Christmas giving.
As with every group, you can't be prepared for each and every surprise – being open to new ideas and using them as teachable moments is the best you can do.
Reflect:
If you want to make this activity more interactive/creative – cut out the quotes from the Jewish Teachings on Money handout and ask pairs of girls to present them as a skit, song, cheer, dramatization, etc.
Do:
The first group to finish presents – others comment. This is a short matching game that prompts discussion.
Create:
Use heavy paper stock cards for IOU’s (3x5 or card stock – can buy in scrapbooking supplies section of craft store) and bring envelopes. Use stamps, stickers and fun markers for the cards.
Before You Leave:
Note that there is an assignment – be sure to communicate this to the girls who are not there.
Closing:
Floating candles in a big bowl work well.
Give girls an envelope to bring home their completed appreciation candle so they can hang it up and it won’t get lost. The gift to themselves is to acknowledge these things!
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Tevet
Gather:
The book, “Your Name is Your Blessing” by Elaine Blech is a useful resource to further explore the meaning of names.
Explore:
This discussion requires that some of the girls do preparation in advance. Note the facilitator tips for ideas on how to include all the girls in the discussion.
This can turn into a longer discussion – really encourage the girls to share and listen. Find commonalities, reflect what you hear them saying, thank them for sharing personal stories.
Reflect:
May want to write the quotes on little 2 x 3 cards for each girl or write them in an attractive way on a poster that can be displayed at future gatherings.
Put on soft music while the girls write.
Encourage girls to find an independent space for writing so they can focus – go out in the hall, behind couches, corners, etc. if appropriate.
For girls who are apprehensive about writing have a “one on one” conversation with them and encourage them to just write notes, draw representational pictures, etc.
Copy the “my thoughts on things” onto colored paper. Provide envelopes (colored if possible) in which the girls can bring home their writing. Encourage the girls to put them in a journal, keepsake box, or somewhere else where they save things for the future.
Bring It Home:
If possible, send a follow up e-mail to parents about the topic of the meeting and encourage them to continue the conversation at home.
If girls are hesitant to talk with immediate family about values, find out who they would like to talk to – aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.
Closing:
If girls enjoy quiet meditation ask one girl to read the story and invite others to lie down, close their eyes and listen to the story.
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Shevat
CD Suggestions:
“Eretz Zavat Chalav” – play on repeat as girls are arriving and then point out what they were listening to when you gather.
“A Way to Say Ah” – girls can appreciate and understand these lyrics – great conversation starter for this month or way to end your gathering (in lieu of the suggested poem for closing).
At A Glance:
This month has less activity, and more higher thinking, personal reflection and discussion, so consider this when planning.
Girls understanding of and experience with environmental issues varies widely – you may be surprised by their knowledge or lack of it.
If your girls need more movement or crafts, insert them as you see fit (suggestions follow).
Gather:
In Tevet the girls were invited to have a conversation with their families about ethical wills in order to find out what each person thinks is really important to pass on. Ask the girls about it.
Foods for this month are great – bring some from each category of the Tu Beshevat seder and explain their significance - Refer to page 3 of the Essence Sheet.
Opening Question: This is a great month to bring a bouquet of assorted flowers so the girls can use it as a prompt for discussion (ie., Which is your favorite and why?), give each girl a flower to take home. Point out that in Israel spring begins in Shevat (see Essence Sheet).
Explore:
Select the cards that you think your group will relate to and understand.
Make sure to have them get witnesses to sign the contract right there.
Do:
This hand out is meant for them to fill out the ideas in the first column during the gathering and bring home to check off what they have done at home at the end of each day.
This can be a great introduction to journal keeping. Keeping a journal doesn’t have to be about “Dear Diary” – it can be for Shomrot Neshamah, or for a list of “gratitudes” each day. Some groups make copies and cut and paste them into a journal provided by the group leader. Journals can often be found at dollar stores.
Reflect:
Take time to fully explore and explain the concept of midot.
Girls enjoy making the cards and thinking of little illustrations or icons to go with each trait.
Some group leaders have found the midot to be a lot of fun to explain and discuss with the girls, others found the concepts to be difficult for the younger girls to understand on their own.
Do more of a craft with the midot cards, such as put the words on little stones and put the stones in a basket/box; make a dried flower arrangement and put the words on tags and ribbon them around the arrangement, etc.
Closing:
Go around the circle and share something the girls plan to do to take care of themselves and to take care of the environment.
Additional Suggestions:
You may want to do a mini Tu Beshevat seder again if the girls enjoyed it last year, or if you didn’t have time to do it last year. Look at Shevat Lev for suggestions.
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Adar I
The focus of Adar 1 Ruach is empowerment. Resources for finding a self defense instructor include YMCAs and JCCs, karate studios, and local universities. A Krav Maga (the official self defense system of the Israeli Defense Forces) instructor would also be a great guest. For more information on Krav Maga or to find an instructor check out: http://www.kravmaga.com or http://www.kravmaga-clubs.com. Many instructors are willing to volunteer their time because it promotes their programs/courses.
A good self defense instructor will educate the group about self awareness, awareness of one’s surroundings, and techniques for avoiding dangerous situations, in addition to self defense strategies. Educate the visiting instructor about your group – their level of sophistication, their needs and personalities as well as the vision of Rosh Hodesh: It’s a Girl Thing! – so that you and the instructor have the same goals in mind. Be sure to let the parents know that you will be having a guest join your group.
Before You Leave:
If you will be facilitating Adar 2 Ruach, be sure to read the “Before You Leave” and plan your Purim collection for next month with the girls during this month’s meeting.
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Adar II
If you plan to bake hamantaschen at your gathering, group leaders in the past have suggested starting the meeting with the baking so you are not rushed at the end! Keep in mind that baking with a group of girls is time consuming – so plan accordingly and modify your gathering plan as necessary. If your space does not lend itself to baking or you don’t want to take the time, you can make wonderful mishloah manot without hamantaschen or with store bought hamantaschen!
TAKE PICTURES at this gathering – of your collection for matanot le’evyonim, baking, assembling mishloah manot, and the girls having fun.
Create (1):
Pre-read the handout, “Tzedakah and the Jewish Holidays” prior to handing it out to the girls to make sure you are familiar with it. This handout mentions tzedakah to gay and lesbian causes for Purim. Please follow the guidelines of your institution and the appropriateness of this paragraph for your group.
For small groups, hand out only some of the months or have the girls work in pairs and give each pair a few months to depict on the ritual cloth.
Create (2):
There are many creative ways to assemble mishloah manot packages. Girls can decorate bags, boxes, or paper plates and then fill them with a variety of snacks. You may want to have enough supplies for each girl to make a package for her own family as well as for someone else. Brainstorm with the girls about to whom they will deliver their mishloah manot.
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Nisan
Nisan Ruach is an opportunity to explore and experience a women’s seder. Many groups choose to extend invitations to the girls’ mothers, grandmothers, etc. this month. If the group leader would like support in conducting the seder, she may consider inviting a rabbi or lay leader with experience in leading women’s seders to co-lead this month (get the girls permission to do this first!).
Read “Before the Gathering” carefully to prepare adequately. Many CAJE offices and synagogues have lending libraries of hagadot. Ask your friends, family, religious leaders, etc. to borrow hagadot. Begin your search well in advance.
Groups that meet in girls’ homes may choose to meet in their host institution for this gathering so that there is more space and supplies.
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Iyar
Explore:
Separate the two groups – send one to a different room or section of the room so that they don’t get distracted by the other group. Be sure to circulate while the girls are making their lists to encourage their thinking as well as to leave them alone to talk without your influence.
Do:
Girls also enjoy “back scratching” trains in addition to massage. If your group seems wary of massaging each other’s backs, they may choose to do hand massages instead.
If your group loves craft projects, do one of your choosing here as an example of a “stress buster.”
Before You Leave:
Group leaders have ended by giving the girls a “stress buster” token gift like a beanie baby, inspiration journal, keepsake box, quote, etc. as a gift and reminder that Rosh Hodesh gatherings are a stress buster too.
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Closing
This month is about reflecting and appreciating as well as looking forward. Even though your group may be continuing – the closure for the year is important. Take this month to enjoy the girls, celebrate all that you have created together – and make plans for an exciting third year!
The Sourcebook does not contain a gathering plan specifically for Closing Month in the Ruach Year. Ruach group leaders have chosen to either use and modify Closing Month Lev, do the material for the month (usually Iyar or Sivan), or have a special gathering like a sleepover, movie night (relevant topic followed by a discussion), pottery studio gathering, or closing frappucino, smoothie, ice cream sundae (you get the idea…) party at the group leader’s home.
This month may be a good one for a special craft project: tie-dying t-shirts or pillow cases, making Rosh Hodesh jewelry, etc.
Regardless of what you do for the gathering, make sure you have a conversation about the group’s plans for the future. If you are continuing, what will be different next year? How will you welcome new girls? What leadership can group members take on? What special events does the group want to have?
Prepare for next year by deciding what material you will use. Contact the Rosh Hodesh: It’s a Girl Thing! National Office about Kol Year Sourcebook material if you have not already done so.
Take some pictures and send them to our national office! Ask the girls to help you write a group letter to the national office and/or your funders about your year. We want to hear about your group!
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